Right now, the school district is performing its 3-Year reevaluation on Robbie. This is the third such evaluation he's endured. The first one, performed in December of 2005, was a cursory evaluation where they concluded that he might be autistic. The first complete evaluation, performed in March of 2007, determined he was autistic (or PDD-NOS/WTF?). The days we received the results of these previous evaluations are also known as "the two worst days of my life." We'll find out the results of this evaluation on March 12, during our next ARD meeting.
The other day, Joy asked if I was nervous about the reevaluation. With a hint of cheery, Irish optimism, I replied:
"What in the hell could they possibly say that's worse than what they said the last time?"
The truth is, I did have one fleeting worry. I worried that they might say he wasn't autistic. How nuts is that? I imagined what would happen if they removed the services and support - that life-changing support that has allowed him to flourish so much this year. And for a moment, it scared me. During our last meeting at the school, however, they confirmed they would not be removing the autism diagnosis. Unsurprisingly, this didn't really make me feel much better.
During the first two evaluations, I was in denial. When you're in denial, the enemy is truth. Now that I've moved out of denial (though it's still an old friend that visits from time to time - see above: "one fleeting worry"), the enemy is ignorance. I'm hoping to learn if they see something in the evaluation that we've not observed. Sharing our observations about Robbie with the school (and vice versa) has become a powerful ally in improving his situation.
So here we go again. Looking back, I received the results of his pre-evaluation while sitting on an airplane bound for a two-week trip India. I received the results of his last evaluation defiantly telling the team there was nothing wrong. This time will be different. I want to hear the results.
Will a week from Friday be the third "worst day" of my life? I don't think so.
But then again, denial might just be paying me another visit. I miss him so.